Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Art of Double Dating

Thanks to “The Art of Courtship” (see post on July 29, 2014) you are now in a relationship. Furthermore, thanks to “The Art of Being a Wingman” (see post on August 1, 2015) you were able to get your buddy into a relationship too. You and your buddy may have struggled with “playing it too cool”, but that was remedied by “So, You’re Playing It Too Cool?” (see post on November 12, 2015). As both of you start to settle into your relationships, I suggest taking advantage of you both being in a relationship at the same time by going on a double date.

When going on a double date, it is important to have a game plan. You don’t want your buddy to go rogue on you and suggest something like one malt with four straws. Trust me; that can get awkward quickly. You also don’t want to do something ridiculous to try and impress your dates like trying to catch a Coke bottle with a baseball glove. I speak from experience when I say that is more difficult to do than one would think.

When it comes to setting a game plan, I have a few suggestions that are sure to put you on track. The first is to always be on the lookout for opportunities to assist. Let me illustrate with an example. Perhaps you know that your friend does some great celebrity impressions, but is generally too modest to employ his skills in a group setting. You could say something like, “Danny (just choosing a name randomly) does some of the best celebrity impressions I have ever heard. In fact, he does the best Adam Sandler and the ninth best Liam Neeson I have ever heard.” This will allow him to demonstrate his skills and impress his female companion while also lacking conceit as he was not the one to bring up his skills.

Second, don’t be afraid to stray from the usual dinner date script. For example, if you, your buddy, and the females that you hope to eventually ask an important question while on bended knee are athletically inclined, I suggest partaking in a sporting endeavor such as mixed doubles badminton. Not only does this give everyone in the group an opportunity to put their athletic prowess on display, it also creates a more laid back and fun environment that can sometimes be difficult to construct in the traditional dinner date setting. I have one word of caution though. If you and your buddy are very competitive, a sporting event might not be the best idea for a double date. Many a relationship and many a friendship have been derailed after a guy and his buddy have come to blows over a birdie on the line call during a mixed doubles badminton double date.

Third, be prepared to clean up each other’s messes. You and your buddy both needed help getting to the point where having your local jeweler Marco’s phone number in your contact list might finally be useful. So, there is no doubt that both of you had some dating mishaps along the way. The great thing with a double date is that you and your buddy can have the mop ready if either of you makes a misstep. As an example, suppose you know that the female that your buddy is pursing in courtship has strong British roots. Perhaps your buddy starts to make some flippant remarks regarding current events like, “The Redcoats are such hypocrites. They get mad at us for leaving them and then they turn around and leave the European Union.” Even worse, suppose he continues by saying, “I would never marry a Brit or a woman of strong British decent. They can’t commit to anything. I mean, they never even switched from the Pound to the Euro. If that didn’t signal that they weren’t committed to the whole EU thing, I don’t know what did!” At this point, your buddy has made a mess that might be beyond your cleaning skills even though he did show off his keen knowledge of history, current events, and was able to make connections between the two. Nevertheless, you need to try to help him out by saying something like, “How about the Englishman Danny Willett winning the Masters?” or “So, do you like Andy Murray’s chances at Wimbledon this year?” By posing positive British related questions, you will hopefully divert your buddy’s female companion from his transgressions and put the conversation back on track. Don’t feel bad if you are not able to save your buddy though. Some messes like this one are too big to clean up even for a man with strong understanding of janitorial relationship theory.

Last, if you do choose the traditional dinner date, make sure that you and your buddy decide beforehand as to how you guys will be handling the bill. You don’t want to come in unprepared and make your buddy look bad by offering to pay for everyone. On the other hand, you don’t want your buddy to undermine his own courtship efforts by saying something like, “I really can’t pay tonight. I am not very liquid at the moment. My money is tied up in Mongolian bonds, Algerian real estate, and Kuwait’s Dinar currency.” Although this demonstrates your buddy’s eclectic yet ill-advised investment portfolio, most females will probably interpret this as being cheap. So, make sure to discuss this before the date. I suggest that you each pay for yourself and the female that you are courting.

Overall, the double date is a tool that can help any man on the road of courtship as it takes some of the pressure off and also puts a friend near you to help you out of any mess that could befall you due to unwise words or actions. Now that you have been educated as to how to best approach a double date, grab your buddy, your mop, and your female companions and progress one step closer to making a call to Marco a reality.