Thanks to The Art of Courtship (see post on July 29, 2014)
or, if you struggled to apply the principles of The Art of Courtship on your
own, The Art of Being a Wingman (see post on August 1, 2015), you are now in a
relationship with a female. You may think that the difficult part is over.
However, a lot of men struggle with the transition from the initial stages of
courtship to sustaining the relationship. The most common mistake is “playing
it too cool.” (Yes, it is possible and a fair share of men don’t even realize
that they are “playing it too cool.”)
Sure, “Baby, you’re so hot, I can’t help but play it cool”
pulled her heart strings the first ten or so times you said it. She might have
even enjoyed the “Just playing it cool baby, you know my style” texts that you
sent daily for the first few weeks of your relationship. But there comes a time
when cool is just cold. And, it might have been cute at first to have “Malt
Shop Buddies” as your Facebook relationship status, but keep that status too
long and your only “Malt Shop Buddy” will be your wingman.
Now that you have changed your Facebook relationship status
(No seriously, you better change it before you continue reading), you may be
wondering what else you can do to put your relationship back on track. Well,
“playing it too cool” is often interpreted as indifference and even a lack of
commitment. So, I suggest that, the next time you are enjoying a malt together,
that you say something like, “If you ever end up in prison, I will come and
visit you every Tuesday.” She might be slightly offended that you could see her
going to prison, but the commitment that is demonstrated by such a statement
should overshadow this. (By the way, if you really think that the female you
are endeavoring down the road of courtship with has a good chance of going to
prison, you should probably get out of the relationship.)
While it is good to use some bold words to show your
commitment, it is even more important to show commitment through actions.
Before proceeding, I would like to pause for a word of caution though as I
think some men are tempted to be a little too bold. So, for those of you
thinking about buying a ring tomorrow, I would like to remind you that, dude,
your relationship status was "Malt Shop Buddies" one minute ago. Now that any
rash notions of being too bold have hopefully been erased from your mind, I
would like to apprise you of how to properly show commitment in the transition
from the initial stage of courtship to the sustaining and growing the
relationship phase.
First, I suggest taking some notes. So, the next few times
you see the female who possesses the left hand which you would eventually like
to bestow jewelry upon, make sure to bring a notebook and document the
conversations you have with her. She may find it a touch peculiar that you are
taking notes, but more often than not, she will see this as a sign of
commitment as you are showing that you are interested in understanding her and
your relationship better.
Once you feel that you have taken sufficient notes, take some
time to review them. In particular, look for patterns. As an example, suppose
you notice that she mentioned that Halifax, Nova Scotia, is her favorite
capital city of a Canadian province on multiple occasions. (Settle down “Malt Shop Buddy,” I know you
are thinking that Halifax would be a great honeymoon destination. Your
relationship just isn’t at that point yet.) A great way to act upon this
knowledge (without being too bold) would be to rent a documentary on Halifax
and watch it together.
While acting upon a single piece of information from your
notes is good, taking advantage of multiple nuggets of knowledge simultaneously
will truly impress a lady. For example, suppose you also notice that she likes
to partake in a glass of punch of the Hawaiian variety on occasion. (Possibly
wishful thinking on my part as additional information that I have gained since
my Hawaiian Punch poll suggests that males, not females, prefer Hawaiian Punch
drinkers. However, earlier today, I did receive confirmation from multiple
female sources that Snapple could be the way to go. So, fellow juice
enthusiasts, there is still hope.) Thus, to really seal the deal and transition
your relationship to the next stage, you could have two glasses of Hawaiian
Punch prepared for her and you to drink while watching the Halifax documentary.
(If you are feeling especially romantic, I suggest one glass with two straws.)
At the end of the day, “playing it too cool” is a challenge that
many men face as they progress down the road of courtship. However, if you
apply the aforementioned plan of attack, your relationship thermostat should
get set to the proper temperature. So, erase that “Girl, there is no place I
would rather be than with you” text that you were about to send before you
starting reading this, buy a notebook and pen, and tell her that in person.
Trust me, that statement will mean a lot more if you are actually with her when
you say it. (For those of you that are wondering, yes, I did drink Hawaiian
Punch while writing this article.)
